Three Little Words

This evening, as I was coming home and chatting with my husband on my cell, I ended the call with an “I love you.” His response: “Thanks.”

It was a little bit of a jarring experience, only because he ALWAYS says, “I love you” to me.

I didn’t read anything into his hurried reply.

But it reminded me of a conversation I had with my daughter recently, a girl who is showing herself to be a bit more reserved and cautious about for whom she rewards with her love and affection.

The discussion about love came up when an after-school caregiver kept trying to get my little girl to tell her she loved her. This woman truly cares about my little girl. But my little Bella frustrated her by refusing to reciprocate with an “I love you too.”

When I asked my daughter why she wouldn’t say “I love you” in return, she explained very reasonably for a 7-year-old that, “She’s not my family.”

True.

I explained that it’s OK to love people who aren’t in your family. I also told her, it’s OK if you don’t feel comfortable returning those three little words.

But…it is important, if you like the person, to acknowledge their kindness and feelings for you.

An appropriate response, in my mind, is “Thank you.”

I love that my children’s caregivers love my children. I consider many of them a part of my extended family.

But it’s also OK for my daughter to make up her own mind about who she likes and who she loves.

I want her to mean those three words when she says them.